Monday 17 March 2014

Samantha Armytage

Monday 17th, March 2014


Sunrise
Channel 7
PO Box 777
Pyrmont
NSW 2009

               
Dear Sam,


                Hello. My name’s Tom. How good are you at beach volleyball? Like, one a scale of one to ten, with ten being ‘exceptionally good at volleyball’ and one being ‘probably better suited to a data entry role’.

                It probably seems like a really odd question, but it’s related to a conversation I’m currently having with your co-host, Dave Koch. See, I asked Dave Koch (I call him Dave, because we’re on those terms now) who he’d take, out of his co-hosts, if he were stranded on a desert island. He hasn’t responded yet, obviously because we need to establish whether or not you’re good at beach volleyball.

                See, what it is, is that he might take the guy who does all the sports stories, but only so he can play beach volleyball with him to stay fit. I think I saw a movie once where a guy got to go to a desert island, and all he had was a volley ball, so I think it’s like a package thing.

                Anyway, Dave Koch would obviously have a lot of spare time on the island, and even though we’ve agreed that you’re certainly far more pretty than the sports guy, maybe Dave Koch would prefer somebody who he could pass the time with, once he’s finally come to terms with the fact that nothing is going to happen between you and him.

                I’ve included a self-addressed envelope so you’ll be able fill-out the below questionnaire to return to me, and we can finally put to rest this whole, rotten affair once and for all.

                Warmest regards,




                Tom



Question : How good are you at beach volleyball?

Answer (200-300 words): ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SIGNED:_________________________________


                

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